I told Eric that I was going to make black bean burgers. He said, “Black bean burgers? I’m trying to be more manly, Karen! What would Ron Swanson say?” My brother Nathan told me I should call these “Black Bean Sandwiches” so that people aren’t expecting a hamburger substitute. I suppose he’s right. Hear this, my people! These are NOT hamburgers! There is no substitute for hamburgers! This is illustrated perfectly in an episode of Parks and Rec where they have a hamburger contest. Chris makes a “Turkey Asian-Fusion Burger” with really expensive ingredients. Then Ron Swanson slaps down some cheap ground beef and says, “It’s a hamburger made out of meat on a bun with nothing. Add ketchup if you want, I couldn’t care less.” The real hamburger wins. Of course. Because nothing beats a hamburger. Ever. BUT…if you want an awesome black bean patty that tastes incredible and kind of looks like a hamburger, then try this recipe. I’m telling you, it’s amazing. I realize I’ve done a terrible job selling this to you with all the hamburger talk, but I just didn’t want any of you to be confused. We’ve already made them twice in the last couple weeks, and I’ve had several people ask me for the recipe. They are spicy and full of flavor, not to mention healthy (hello, carrots!) and filling. I like mine best smothered in Sriracha Mayonnaise, but if you are trying to cut calories try spreading some hummus on it. That’s how Nathan eats them. I need to try it. I seriously don’t know why they’re not selling these at McDonald’s. They would make bank. No, they’re not the same as a hamburgers, but how much money do you think McDonald’s nets every year on salad sales? Sometimes people really do want healthy food that is convenient. But until McDonald’s starts taking marketing advice from me, you will have to make these at home. It’s a nice recipe to change things up. Enjoy!
