Well. Just woke up. Here I am in prison again. Maybe if I sing Twinkle Twinkle at the top of my lungs with really cute cracks in my voice Mom will come set me free…Didn’t work. Maybe she will notice if I dump all my blankets on the floor…Nothing. She must be dealing with The Other One. Well now I’m cold. Guess I better start crying. I don’t get why Mom doesn’t want to read Harold and the Purple Crayon for the 16th time. That porcupine is just so deserving. I think I’ll jump on the couch right next to The Other One’s head. Look at him bounce! Higher! Higher! I bet he loves this. Well there goes Mom yelling and looking stern again. Sheesh. Don’t know what her deal is. Hey look there’s a plastic ring. It looks so…delicious! Let’s taste it. It’s so yummy and plasticky! Let’s swallow it. Uh oh. Too big! I’m choking! I’m gonna die! Whew. Thanks Mom. Sorry about the puke on the carpet. But now I get a bath! Toys bubbles toys bubbles!! This is great. Dinner agaaaaain. She’s always trying to shove food down my throat. Like, didn’t I just eat a few hours ago? Guess I’ll throw it all on the floor. I’ll be sure to grind it into the carpet when she’s not looking when she lets me out of the high chair. Oh look, there’s still cheese grease on my hands. This will look great in my hair. It’s too frizzy from my bath anyway. Mom’s doing laundry!! I wanna help let me do it! I love sitting up here on the dryer. Look. There’s water coming out the top. It’s cold! I see some at the bottom of the washer too. I can’t quite reach…just a little closer…OOOOWWWW THAT’S MY EYE!! Yes, Charlotte fell head first into the washing machine. Eric had to come in and comfort her because I was laughing so hard. She was probably throwing her food on the floor at dinner because I tried to feed her this pizza. But since you are probably not a 2-year-old, I can pretty much guarantee you will like this. Asparagus…bacon…feta. On pizza. With a cheesy alfredo sauce. And more cheese. What’s not to like here?
